


From A Distance

by PhantomPhan16, VicenteValtieri



Series: Role Play Fanfiction [15]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Brainwashing, M/M, Mnemosurgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 00:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomPhan16/pseuds/PhantomPhan16, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VicenteValtieri/pseuds/VicenteValtieri
Summary: Nightwish, Orion's mate, finds himself thrust into a different role as the war on Cybertron rages.





	From A Distance

Nightwish pushed his spectacles back up his nasal vent as he studied the complicated tax form in front of him. It was that time of year, and it looked like money was going to be tight for awhile. As usual. And right when they were expecting the sparkling too.

He touched his chassis. Not that he regretted it. He sat back and stretched, looking at the chrono. "Creator should be home soon, little one."

There was a wiggle in his gestation tank. It was just one, not entirely unheard of, but unexpected and... Nightwish felt guilty for thinking ... welcome. Orion had a job as a foreman at the docks that afforded them a relatively comfortable life, but sparklings were expensive here in Iacon.

They would struggle supporting just one, he had no idea how they would have coped with more. He could hear emergency outside, tearing through the city. Something had happened... again. It was sad when it didn't surprise him anymore.

Going to the window, he lifted back the curtains and his vents caught. The docks... they were blazing.

"... No... Orion...," he breathed out in shock. He was out of the apartment before he even registered moving.

The flight to the docks was harrowing and once there, he made a beeline for where he knew Orion's office was. The warehouses were just catching on fire and the ships were being pulled back, away.

The officers were ablaze. "ORION!!!!"

"Nightwish?!" Ratchet grabbed his arm. "What are you doing here? Go home!"

Nightwish tore away from the medic and ran for the warehouse. He could see his mate's tall frame supporting the doorway open as mechs ran out. "Orion!" Ironhide was carrying a mech out. "Where's Smokescreen?!" Orion asked over the roar.

"Still inside."

He turned, and their optics met. "Nightwish..." he whispered. They stared for a moment that stretched across eternity, then Orion ran back inside. Ratchet was suddenly there and pulled Nightwish and down to the ground, covering the Seeker as the warehouse exploded.

"ORION!" Nightwish tried to struggle free as the building collapsed. "Orion, please!"  
"ORION!" Nightwish cried out.

Ironhide was then holding back as Ratchet and other medics rushed forwards as firefighters put it out and began digging.

Nightwish sobbed and wailed as they brought Orion's frame out and laid him with the other dead. What would happen to them now? To him and his sparkling? Taxes were due already and there was a death tax to consider. As he sat in shock beside a pallet covered with a sheet, he could only think about the little "emergency jar" they had stashed away and stocked with credits - it wasn't much. Funerary costs would eat it all up.

He was so worried and deep in his reverie that he didn't notice at first when the mechs came and took Orion's frame away. "Hey! Hey! Where are you taking him?"

"None of your business, Seeker." One of the mechs kicked him back to the ground and they carried Orion off while Nightwish tried to chase after them at a safe distance and ask what they were doing. He followed the transport back to the Palace, where he was stopped at the gate and couldn't get through.

This didn't make sense. Why would they take Orion's frame to the Primal Palace? He was supposed to tend to it, make a memory pendant, and now he couldn't.

In despair and at a loss, he sat down beside the gate and cradled himself, not knowing what to do.

His sparkling squirmed and kicked as his Carrier's distress.

"Shh... Shh... Little one, shhh..." Nightwish pulled his knees to his chassis. "It's going to be okay. I don't know when, but it will."

He knew he couldn't sit out here in the elements. He couldn't afford to get sick. It seemed his baby was all he had now.

He dragged himself home as night fell. He had spent the day trying to get in, asking the guards and servants who went in and came out what they had done with his mate's frame, but no one even acknowledged that it had been brought in. He went back to the apartment empty-servoed, drank a cube of energon and crawled into bed.

He lost the apartment quickly. As a Seeker he had no job and couldn't pay rent. He didn't dare approach Orion's parents for aid, they were content to pretend he didn't exsist, let alone that he was mated to their son. He had no choice but to return to Vos. Pharma found him not long after, as he huddled on a corner.

"Nightwish!" Pharma wrapped his arms around him.

"Pharma?" He hugged his cousin back and began to cry. "Star, what happened? I thought you were in Iacon?" He sobbed out his story as Pharma led him away towards his little flat.

"....Oh, Nightwish... I'm so sorry." Pharma poured him a cube of energon and took a few scans. "You seem in as good health as you could be."

"I don't know why they took his frame. It doesn't make sense." He stared miserably out the window. "We were happy..."

Pharma hugged him close and stroked his wings comfortingly.  
"...I can't believe he just... went back in like that." Nightwish covered his faceplates and sobbed.

"He sounds like a brave mech, Night. He probably didn't think there would be another bomb."

"He left us!"

Pharma made Nightwish look at him. "Don't blame him, Night. He was trying to save a life. Blame whoever bombed the docks, but not your mate for trying to save someone. You will never forgive yourself if you grow bitter towards him."

Nightwish considered, then nodded. "...What am I going to do, Pharma?"

"You'll stay with me and raise your sparkling."

"All right... I don't want to intrude, but... I don't have anywhere else to go."

Pharma began preening him. "It's not intruding." Things did not calm down after the bombing. In fact it only got worse, especially as a new mech appeared on the scene as Sentinel's apparently chosen successor, Optimus, a towering convoy of red and blue. Nightwish did note one positive thing, Optimus often acted opposite of Sentinel. He might be a nice change... if he could get anything done with the Council and Senate, though both Seekers doubted it.

Another mech - a more tarnished, but less fettered hero - arose to oppose the Senate, Council, and Prime, championing Democracy. His name? Megatron. A wall of metal with a presence the size of Cybertron.

As tensions rose and rose there seemed to be a three way split with many, including the Seekers, flocking to Megatron, and other split between Sentinel and his Functionism and Optimus with his more open-processor way and compassion. Cybertron hovered on the brink of war, and Megatron was gathering information through spies and hackers on the two power houses of Iacon.

"What is it, Soundwave?" The warlord questioned his spy when the small mech slid to his side. "Have you found out anymore on our enigmatic Prime?"

He offered the warlord a datachip. Optimus really had seemingly come from nowhere, but encrypted files revealed he was actually a sick experiment by Sentinel to build a super soldier with the spark and processor of a heroic mech, and said mech was the late Orion Pax who had died in the dock bombings, running back into a burning warehouse to save another, leaving behind a Seeker mate, Nightwish. "Nightwish? Isn't he the Seeker Winglord?" He was sparked too if Megatron remembered correctly. They had only met briefly.

"Affirmative. Seekers: Traditional. Will follow Winglord if he presents himself."  
"Nightwish isn't a very warlike mech."

Megatron: Plan?"

"The beginnings of one. Bring me the two best Seekers flying in our ranks, Bombshell, Nightwish, and that cousin of his: Pharma."

"Yes, Lord Megatron." He disappeared in search of said Seekers.

Bombshell reported promptly and Megatron explained his plan while Soundwave assembled the Seekers. Mnemosurgery on four mechs in succession would be exhausting, but the insecticon assured Megatron he was up for it.

Once the Seekers were assembled he approached the heavily pregnant Nightwish.

"I have a proposition for you, Winglord." He dropped an arm around Nightwish and conducted him into the operating room. One by one, each Seeker went in and came out with a processor ache.

Nightwish took the name Starscream and a new paint job. Decacycles later he sparkling decided to greet the world as war finally broke out with the death of Sentinel.

Starscream gave birth to a beautiful Seekerlet, Cas, whom he loved dearly. "In spite of that brute of a Creator you have." He cooed to his sparkling. "I hope my bad taste in mechs isn't genetic."

Cas squeaked and kicked little sapphire and black pedes. It was a darker shade of blue than his servoes, and the blue optics... they were beautiful but certainly not from him or Megatron.

"Such a shame about your optics. I had hoped you would get mine." He kissed the tiny wings and tucked Cas into his cockpit. "Tomorrow, Carrier's going to invade Iacon with Megatron."

He squealed and purred Starscream smiled and nuzzled his baby. "My Casarasi." The Seekerlet purred and began sucking on his digits. "Those aren't food, silly." He gently pulled the tiny servo away and gave him a feeding tube.

The Seekers leapt to their pedes when their Winglord sailed through, Seekerlet in one arm.

There were cheers and trills at the sight of the newborn.

Starscream smiled down at Cas, tickling his wings.

He giggled and peeped, fluttering his tiny wings.

The Seekers needed no inspiration for the invasion. They were ready to face the mechs who had ground them down, built cities on their backs, changed the fundamentals of their culture. Iacon would fall and every glossa would scream their names. After mingling for a bit, Starscream went to see Megatron with Cas.

The warlord was seated on his throne as usual and turned at the Seeker's approached. "Ah, I see congratulations are in order."

"Emerged early this morning." Starscream agreed, climbing the steps casually before seating himself brazenly on the tank's lap and holding the Seekerlet up to the silver warlord. "Isn't he beautiful?"

"Beautiful, like his Carrier." "His name is Cas, Casarasi. He's a Carrier." Cas blinked sleepily, took one look at Megatron and began to cry.

"Aww... Cas don't cry. This is your Creator. Step-Creator, but who's counting that lout?" Starscream nuzzled the Seekerlet. "Are you hungry? What's wrong?"

"Well wouldn't you be a little scared if you were held up to someone so much bigger than you?" Megatron asked.

"I suppose." Starscream sighed, tucking his helm under Megatron's chin. "But I was never scared of you."  
"Starscream, I doubt anything scares you." Megatron rolled his optics, cupping the Seeker's back.

"Besides, you're fully grown, I must seem massive to him." The tank gently stroked Cas's wings.

Cas burbled softly at the attention. His infant instincts told him that this was not his Creator.

Still... he was nice it seemed. He fluttering his wings and giggled when Megatron tickled his tiny pedes.

"There, see?" Starscream smiled at him and kissed his helm.

"May I hold him?"

"Of course." Starscream laid the tiny Seekerlet in the tank's massive servos.

Cas yawned and relaxed sleepily.

"There we go. He likes you."  
"It's a good omen that he was born right before our invasion."

"How so?"

"He's a new Seekerlet, a symbol of hope." Megatron explained. "In the primal verses, sparklings are spoken of as bearers of good fortune."

Starscream smiled and kissed his's son helm. "My good luck charm."

Megatron kissed Starscream's helm and stroked his neck gently. "Our good luck charm."

He purred. "Yes. Ours."

Sunrise over Iacon and Megatron and Starscream stood on a bluff, surveying the city. On a tower on the wall, the Prime was doing the same.

The day would end dark. They all knew it.

Megatron turned to Starscream and gave him a nod. Starscream warbled a battle scream and the Seekers rose to the air en masse.

When it was over the day had darkened with the shadow of death over the battlefield. Mechs lay dead or dying as wounded who could be saved were rounded up and rushed away.

The Autobots had been pushed back into the city proper and the battlements were the Decepticons.

It was hard fought and hard won. Starscream was giving rites to his lost Seekers when Optimus spotted him as he was checking his own dead.

The Prime stood up and called Starscream by a name the Seeker didn't remember. "Nightwish! I thought it was you!"

He turned and hissed, taking aim with his null rays. "Nightwish? You're confused or crazy, Prime. I don't know any Nightwish."

"Don't be ridiculous. What do you call yourself, then?"

"I am Starscream. Why do you think you know me?" "I'm your mate! Orion."

Starscream pitched back his helm and laughed. "Oh, now I know you're insane, Prime!"

"I am Orion Pax. Sentinel... built this frame and used my spark and processor."

"Really?" Starscream wiped a bit of oral lubricant off his chin, grinning unhingedly. "Good."

"What? What happened to you?"

"What happened to me? Dear, dear, departed Orion... Everything happened to me!" Starscream pitched himself into the air and planted a heel squarely in the Prime's faceplates.

Optimsus stumbled but didn't fall. "Talk to me. Please. I tried to find you, but I couldn't be open about it. Sentinel thought he hard wiped me, but Ratchet managed to fool him and save me from it."

"Brilliant!" Starscream followed up the kick with a good, square punch. He had been training hard for a moment just like this. "You know, it's great that Sentinel brought you back. I'm going to love sending you off myself!"

"What? Why would you-" "You abandoned us!" "I DIED!"

"Think before that, Orion." Starscream threw him into a lock and twisted his arms. "Directly before that. Before the second bomb, when you ran into a burning warehouse to save some stranger... right in front of us."

"I was trying to save a life, Starscream. You would have if it was a Seeker in danger. Why blame me for doing any less?"

"Because if I died, I wouldn't be leaving a dependent mate and sparkling behind!" Starscream pulled him backwards and rolled him. "You didn't think! As usual! You went off and followed your compulsive need to save everyone and you left us in the lurch!"

"I'm sorry. You don't think I've been regretting it since I woke up?! Because I have, but I can't change the past!"

"Sorry doesn't fix anything!" Starscream's vision went red and he threw himself into the Convoy.

"Then let me try."

"I don't want you to try. The only think I want from you is to fall and stay down!" Starscream raised a clawed servo with lethal intent.

"Tell me his name first." He froze. "What?" "Our son. I can see you're not carrying anymore. At least... tell me his name before you kill me."

"...Cas. Casarasi."

The battle mask opened to reveal a soft, smile. "It's a beautiful name."

"I thought so too." And the Seeker's servo fell. He walked off the battlefield, claws bloody, and went to their encampment directly. Pharma was tending Cas when Starscream reached him. "How is he?"

"Out cold, but he should-" Cas opened his optics and squealed at the sight of his Carrier. "-Wake up when he senses you," Pharma finished with a smile.

"Hello, little one." Starscream smiled and leaned close, touching him with his clean servo. "How are you?"

He squirmed and peeped, kicking his little pedes. "Oh really? Is that so?"

Cas giggled when he tickled his wings.  
"I love you too." Starscream nuzzled him. "But Carrier has to go wash."

He began chewing his digits and giggled as Pharma waved a tiny servo as Starscream walked away to wash. Megatron came into sight a few moments later, and Cas perked up. "Well, do your digits taste good, little fortune?"

"You just missed Starscream, my lord." Pharma gently laid Cas into his arms when he held them out.

 

"I can wait." He tickled the little pedes.

Cas squealed with glee and Megatron smiled at him. "It was a long day. Were you a good little Seekerlet?"

He squeaked. "You were? Will Pharma agree?" "He was an angel, my Lord."

"That's my little charm." Megatron lifted him to his faceplates for a nuzzle.

Cas squealed happily, and Starscream smiled as he came back. "Well that makes you a lot less intimidating."

"I don't mind with sparklings." Megatron turned and smiled at Starscream. "And how are you?"

"Fine." "Did anything happen?"

"I met the Prime and gave him good reason to avoid me in future." Starscream replied. "He'll finally have a use for that ugly mask of his."

"You didn't kill him?" "I wanted to, but he turned so... pathetic it felt... like a cheat."

Megatron hummed. "You do have a sense of fair play, Starscream."

"It keeps me from being a monster. I'll fight, but I won't be a monster."

Megatron bent and kissed his forehelm. "I hope you keep to that resolution."

"I intend to, if only for Cas and not myself."

"He's certainly a good enough reason."

"He is, so lets make life as good as we can for him."

In the meantime, Ratchet was welding Optimus's faceplates back together. "That will teach you to try and reason with a crazy Seeker."

"He's Nightwish, Ratch, or was, I don't know. Something's... happened to him. He doesn't remember the name but he remembers me."

"Hmm. Sounds like it might be mnemosurgery. But why would anyone change Night's name, but not his memories?"

"I don't know. He says I abandoned them."

"...How does he figure that?"

"Because I saw him... and still went back for Smokescreen."

"Well, that's twisted logic if I ever heard it. Don't go blaming yourself, Optimus."

"But I should have gone to him and not back inside. Now I've lost them both. I don't even know what my little Cas looks like." Ratchet paused. "Cas? He told you the little one's name?" Optimus nodded. "I asked."

"...Well, maybe there's hope yet. The memories might be permanently altered, as might be Nightwish, but the resentment can fade."

"It won't be easy." "I'm not sayin' it will be, but it's worth a shot."

"Yeah." Optimus agreed, touching the four slash lines over his mouth as he closed the mask up. "Worth a shot."

The war raged on, and with time and such a life everyone began to change, some in small ways and some in much larger ways. Megatron was one who changed slowly at first, but now it was easy to look back and see how different he was.

Starscream and Megatron began fighting, often, and the warlord took his failures out on Starscream in incresingly brutal and imaginative punishments.

This also began alienate Cas from the tank, and the young Seeker, took to hissing at him whenever he saw him. Megatron began secretly recording the punishments and who send them to Optimus over a secure line, hoping to break the Prime over having to watch his estranged mate being hurt and be unable to help him. Optimus was brought to tears every time.

"Stop opening the files for Primus's sake!" Ratchet told him when he found the Prime broken down crying in his quarters for the tenth time. "You know what it's going to be!"

"I can't. What if... what if it's Cas someday? Or... a ransom? Something!"

"Does that really seem like what Megatron would do? Look, you're destroying yourself over this."

He sighed. "I know, I just... I don't know, Ratch. Before I had at least hoped they were happy, but now... now how can Starscream stay with him when he does this?"

"I don't know, Optimus. I just don't know."

Megatron fumed. Another shipment intercepted by the Autobots. He stormed to Starscream and Cas's quarters. Cas was reading, and he could Starscream in the washroom. The young Seeker looked up and hissed, wings flaring.

"I have had enough of your attitude." Megatron growled at the Seeker. "Stop that noise at once!"

"Stay away from my Carrier!"

"You will not talk back to me!"

Cas got between Megatron and the washroom door, claws out.

"You little brat." Megatron growled, backhanding him.

Cas flew into the door, the sound alerting Starscream within.

The older Seeker came out still dripping wet. "What in Primus's name?! Cas!" He threw himself at the warlord and screeched, clawing at him.

Megatron shouted in surprise then threw him off.

Starscream scrambled to his pedes and threw himself forward again. "Get out!"

The warlord snarled but left. Cas lay on the floor, his face dented rather badly.

Starscream rushed to him and picked him up. "...Cas... Are you all right?"

"I think so."

"Pack your things then." Starscream looked around at their quarters. "We're leaving."

"What? Where... where are we going, Carrier?"

"Anywhere but here." Starscream gathered up their few possessions into his subspace.

He led his son out and took to the air. "... What happens now?" Cas asked.

"...You're going to the Autobots. You'll be safe there... with your progenitor."

"What about you? I won't leave you!"

"Yes, you will!" Starscream insisted. "The Autobots won't accept me. I've killed too many of them."

"No! Carrier, please. Please don't send me away."

"I'm not 'sending you away.' It's going to be fine."

"Carrier..."

"Cas, please." Starscream tiredly told him. It had been a long day already. "Just stick close and let me do the talking."

He sighed. "Okay." The Autobots had gathered by the time they landed.

Optimus was at the front when the two Seekers transformed. "...I recieved your transmission."

"Good. I expect you to keep him safe, Prime."

"Of course. And you won't consider staying?"  
"No. I have business to attend to." The Seeker ran his claws together.

"Carrier, what-"

Starscream turned and pressed a kiss to Cas's forehead. "Stay here, Cas."

He clung to the older Seeker. "Please don't go."

"Shh... It's not going to be so bad. I'll be around, Cas."

His shook his helm against his Carrier's chassis.

Starscream gently took his servos and began prying them open.

"Carrier, please..."

"Starscream, you don't have to leave."

They all turned to Optimus, who had spoken. Cas looked at his Carrier pleadingly.

Starscream's lipplates were fighting a curl as he stared at the Convoy. "...Fine. But I refuse to be restricted when I have business to take care of."

"Very well." Cas hugged him, purring. "Thank you, Carrier."

Starscream sighed, patting his back. "Well, show us in then, Prime."

Optimus nodded. "This way."

The Prime had assigned the Seekers to the secure quarters near his own and Starscream surveyed them with distaste.

Cas nuzzled him. "What's wrong, Carrier? Aren't we safe now?"

"Safe enough for now... So long as no one else's life is on the line and the person keeping us safe doesn't throw himself into danger."

"You don't think he's changed after all this time?"

"If anything, he's worse." Starscream assessed.

Cas sat down on one of the two berths. "How so?"

"You haven't seen battle, but he throws himself into it. He uses his frame like a shield for his own men. Admirable, perhaps, but not good for us."

"Why? I thought you saw him as the enemy."

"I do. But right now he's less of an enemy than Megatron."

"Well... I want to give him a chance, Carrier. He... he's still my Sire."

"You can do as you please, Cas."

The next morning Cas was exploring the Ark and mostly keeping out of the way of the Autobots, though he had never actually been in combat. He was training to become a medic. He had a gift for it.

Optimus stumbled across him. "Cas?"

The small blue mech turned. "Hmm? Oh, um, hello,... sir."

"Cas... May I have a word?" Optimus chose his words carefully, not sure how much Cas knew.

His nodded though he was clearly wary, not that the Prime blamed him.

Optimus showed him into his office and sat down. "How much has your Carrier told you about... your Creator?"

"He says you abandoned us, going into a burning warehouse even though you saw us waiting for you. I..." His wings drooped. "I don't think that's fair of him. He'd never leave another Seeker behind, but he hates you for doing the same."

Optimus's spark lightened slightly. "That's better than I could hope for. So, where do we stand? I know I don't know you very well, but I'd like to."

"... I don't know, but... I want to know you for myself. I don't think you can be worse than Megatron. He never would have taken us in the way you did. Not like he is now..."

Optimus nodded grimly. "He's definitely gone down hill."

"He has. He used to be so loving with us."

"...I'm sorry. I can't imagine how confusing this must be for you." Optimus patted his servo gently.

 

"I'll live..."

Optimus nodded. "You will. You're very like your Carrier.” He reached over to his desk and picked up a picture frame. Inside was a drawing, made from memory and imagination, of a black and gold Seeker cradling a Seekerlet while a young convoy with a dockworker's badge on his shoulder held them both: What should have been.

"Here. I made this but... I think you should have it." Cas took it and studied it for a long moment.

"...Is that... you, Creator?" He tried the title out on his glossa.

"Yes, before I was Prime... before I died."

"You're tiny." Cas looked perplexed.

Optimus chuckled. "Yes, I was small for a convoy. Sentinel built this frame for strength and power."

"But why did he choose you? You... don't look anything like you do now."

"You assume it was based on looks?"

"Well... It's not like he knew you... Did he?"

"No. Sentinel and I had never met, but he was there during the dock bombings. He chose me for the courage I showed in going back to save another at risk to my own life."

"Hmm." Cas thought for a long time. "Carrier won't tell me much about your life before the accident... Do you mind...?"

"Of course not. Did he tell you... he used to be a slave?"

"Yes... But he wouldn't tell me more. Said it wasn't for my audials."

"Well I bought him after his master was fed up with his escaping. I took him home and nursed him back to health, treated him as an equal. It... threw him at first, but he began to slowly open up. Somewhere along the way we fell in love, and I took him as my mate, freeing him, despite many protests and my parents washing their servos of me."

"Woah... You're amazing! No wonder you wanted to save that other mech..."

Optimus chuckled. "I did what had to be done, though I never suspected another bomb..."

"...I'm glad you are who you are... I just wish it would have turned out differently."

"As do I, little one."

Cas made an unsure noise in his throat. "...Can you... teach me to draw? I've always wanted to learn..."

"Of course. We can start now if you like. I have some free time."

"Thanks." Cas sat across from the Prime and they started in on the basics.

They were there for klickcycles until Starscream came searching for his son.

"Prime, have you seen- Oh, there you are, Cas." The Seeker was like a wet blanket.

"Hello, Carrier," he chirped.

"...Having fun?"

"Yes. Creator is teaching me to draw."

"You did always want to learn."

Cas smiled but stood and went to the older Seeker, nuzzling him.

Starscream purred and warbled to him, nuzzling back.

"Want to fly, baby?" "Yes!"

"I was about to go on a drive." Optimus stood. "Maybe we could go together?"

"... Perhaps another time," Starscream said frostily and led Cas out.

"...Carrier, why do you hate him so much?" Cas questioned. "Creator's amazing..."

"I've told you before, Cas. He abandoned-" "You would do the same for another a Seeker if you thought you could save them."

Starscream pursed his lips. "Not if it risked you in any way."

 

Cas handed his Carrier the picture Optimus had given him. "He drew this, Carrier."

Starscream stared down at the picture uncomprehendingly. "...I've never looked like that in my functioning."

"Carrier, don't you think it's strange that he you can't remember everything? Or that you can't remember a name that once belonged to you?"

"I do remember." Starscream irritably stated.

"You remember being Nightwish?"

"...No. I don't remember that. But I remember being Starscream. I remember everything."

"Carrier, something is wrong here. You have a name and life you can't remember, but why would Creator lie about it, why go through so much trouble over a lie if you already remember being his mate?"

"I- I- I don't know! I don't trust any of this. I wish you wouldn't push the issue. It's giving me processor aches."

"But this doesn't make sense. Someone is lieing, and I get the feeling it's not Creator."

"Who else is there? Pharma, Thundercracker, and Skywarp... They all remember me as I am."

"Megatron. Think about what he's gain from altering your memories to make you hate Creator."

"And our relatives? Doesn't that seem extreme?"

Cas gave his Carrier a look. "You really doubt him capable of that?"

"...Well..." Starscream looked away.

"He did something to you."

"...Who's to say it was him? He wasn't always the way he is now, Cas."

"But he must have known."

"You don't know that." Starscream bit out.

"We still need answers."

Starscream pursed his lipplates and transformed, taking to the air.

Cas sighed and sat down in the grass.

"Who's out there?" The medic barked. "If it's you two damn twins again, I'll weld your interfaces to your transformation cogs!"

Cas looked around as if wondering if he should be afraid, confused, or just run as the medic stormed into sight.

"Dammit! What's going on? That Seeker burning out his thrusters again! I ain't puttin' them back together when he comes crying to the med bay!"

"We... had a disagreement," Cas said softly.

"Of course. Whose helm should I weld and where?"

Cas shook his helm. "It's not like that. I think Megatron did something to him, to make him forget part of himself and to hate Creator. Carrier doesn't agree..."

"Your Carrier has his helm too far up his aft to see past his esophagus."

The younger mech hissed in anger without even realizing it at her, wings flared at the insult to his Carrier.

"Hey, I'm just saying the facts, young 'un. You don't have to like 'em."

He relaxed and looked ashamed. "Sorry... I just... I don't know..."

"Tch. Protecting your Carrier is in your code, kiddo. The question becomes: How do we save him from himself?"

 

His beautiful wings drooped. "I... don't know that either. Wait... 'we'?"

"Heh. Look, Optimus is my friend, and he misses your Carrier more than anything else about his time as Orion. If there's a way to get him back, I'm in."

Cas smiled. "Thank you. Um... I... don't know your name. Sorry." "Ratchet." "I'm Cas. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. Come back to my medbay and tell me everything you know."

"Okay." He followed Ratchet back inside, and the medic listened as he spoke, taking it all in carefully.

"Sounds like Shadowplay to me. Hard to reverse. Harder if it's being fought, but... Well, with a will like your Carrier's, I bet he could re-write himself. The question is how to get him to try."

"He doesn't seem to want to doubt... He refuses to."

"Hmm." Ratchet thought. "If only there was some solid proof we could present. Something even he wouldn't doubt, but I'm at a loss to think what."

Cas sighed, his wings drooping again. "I wish I knew, but... I don't know what to do anymore. So far the only really useful thing I've done is gotten backhanded by Megatron, which is why Carrier finally left."

"Megatron. Megatron knows the truth, and your Carrier would believe him. But getting him to spill? That's going to be hard."

"I don't think he'd spill if he was being dipped in acid." Ratchet sighed, then Cas perked up for a brief moment before shaking his helm. "What?" "He's a loose lipplated drunk, but I don't see how that would help."

Ratchet raised his helm slowly. "...He's also a sadistic madmech... If we could make him think or realize that the only thing he could do to cause more pain and suffering is to tell the truth, he would."

"Good luck. He's not stupid."

"No, but think about it... It would hurt your Carrier to know the truth. Right now he's angry: At Megatron, at Optimus... Maybe even you, for making him think. It would hurt, though, to know he's angry at nothing and then to not be able to stop being angry. It's the loss of control that would get to him."

"So... how do we do it?"

"...Optimus is the one hurting." Ratchet tapped his chin. "Megatron did all this to target him. To rub his face in it. If he suddenly stopped hurting, Megatron would lash out at the only other target he has."

"So we need to convince Creator to act like it's already fixed?"

"More than that, we need to get someone to help him make it convincing. Love is its own healer."

"What are you suggesting?"

"We need someone to help Prime act like their in love. To cut off Megatron's entertainment."

"... Who should it be?" "That's the million dollar question?"

Of course, in the end, there was really only one person they could ask.

"Ah, don' know. Ah've never been much of an actor." Ironhide told them, looking up over his rifle.

"C'mon, Hide, you'll be fine."

"I'd hate to mess it up." Ironhide stood up. "And this plan is crazy, but if it means taking Mega-jerk down a peg and helping Optimus, I'm all for it."

 

Cas beamed, his wings fluttering happily. "Thank you!"

"Heh. Don' mention it. I had a soft spot for Nightwish. If this gets him back instead of that hell-bird we have, I'm fine with it."

Ratchet couldn't help but smile as the blue Triple was practically floating, his hope restored.

Optimus was the hard mech to convince.

"You want me to what?!"

"Look, Prime, it's not going to be that hard. All it is is a game of pretend."

"And what if Starscream thinks it's real? I could lose him again, Ratchet!" "Creator, please. This may be our only chance to get Megatron to reveal the truth."

"What if it doesn't work? Everyone knows Ironhide and I have been friends for forever! Why would we suddenly want to be conjux?"

"We're gonna play it like Hide had feelings for you but didn't want to ruin your friendship," Ratchet said.

"Yeah. I've got a big, soft spark under the plating." Ironhide rapped his chestplate. "Come on, Prime, you have nothin' to lose."

"Of course I do!" "You don't, Creator! You can't loose Carrier when he's currently lost, but you can get him back! There's still a chance."

Optimus sighed and looked down at the desk. "...Fine, then. I guess I really do have nothing to lose."

Ratchet and Ironhide nodded while Cas hugged him.

It wasn't an easy masquerade, but Jazz helped with his sheer rumor-mongering. What an incorrigible gossip could do was amazing.

Cas and Ratchet, of course, found it all secretly hilarious, and they were also spending more time together, usually plotting something else for Optimus and Ironhide to do or a rumor for Jazz to spread. However it was still time together to talk, and they were growing close themselves, something Starscream quickly took notice of.

"You and the Hatchet have been getting close." Starscream commented one evening in their shared quarters.

"His name is Ratchet, Carrier," Cas corrected before his optics widened. He looked at his Carrier in shock. "It's not like that!" he yelped even as he blushed.

"I hope not. He'll just break your spark."

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I say. Ratchet's an old mech and you're young."

"He's not that old, Carrier."

"He was a grouchy old mech when you were born."

"Besides... it's not like that." Starscream, of course, didn't miss the hint of longing in his sparkling's tone.

The Seeker rolled his optics. "Keep telling yourself that, Cas."

He blushed. "Well... what if it was?! What... what would you do?"

"I would frag the mech, see what I was missing, and decide if it was worth pursuing. I don't suggest you do the same, though."

 

Cas sighed. "I mean if Ratchet and I really were..."

"Standard threats and intimidation."

"Think any of it would work." Starsceeam smiled. "Probably not, but I'd still do it. I will say this, Ratchet is as tough as they come."

"He is." Cas smiled and looked at the floor.

Starscream shook his helm. His son had it bad.

"Go on, Cas. Your Sire wants you for a drawing lesson."

"Awesome!" He kissed his Carrier's cheek and darted off.

Optimus was in his office doing paperwork. He brightened when he saw Cas. "There you are!"

His son came over and snuggled against him, purring. "Hi, Creator."

"Hello, Cas. Ready to keep learning today?" Optimus brought out the drawing pads.

"Yeah. I love our lessons."

"You're good at this. Must have gotten it from me." Optimus smiled, handing him the stylus. "I'm going to teach you about faces today."

Cas soaked it all in eagerly.

After the lesson, Ironhide stepped into the office. "Optimus? I brought the combat reports you asked for."

"Oh, thank you, Ironhide. Go on, Cas." "Bye, Creator," he said, leaving.

As he left, he caught a red flicker in the vents. One of the casettes.

He smirked to himself and kept walking, wondering what he should do now. Maybe Ratchet was free for a drive.

In the meantime, Optimus and Ironhide were awkwardly sitting next to each other in front of the desk instead of behind and across from each other. "...Well, now we're alone..." Ironhide told the Prime.

"So we are..."

Ironhide leaned in slightly and wrapped one servo around the Prime's helm.

"Hide?" "Shhh."

The weapon's specialist found the manual switch for the Prime's mask.

It slid open, and Ironhide leaned in and until their lips were almost touching. "Casette," he whispered so quietly Optimus almost didn't hear him.

The Prime nodded slightly and leaned forward, pressing his lipplates to Ironhide's.

The kiss was... awkward at best, at least internally. Outwardly it looked tender and normal.

There was a slight skittering in the vents as the cassette turned and rushed off to report.

They broke apart at once and looked awkwardly at each other.

"Sorry." Ironhide wiped his lipplates. "Just pretend, right?"

"Right. Good catch, I didn't know they were there."

"Yeah. Hopefully they'll report to mega-jerk and you can get your Seeker back."

"Hopefully." They sat in silence for a moment. "So... ya noticed your sparkling and Ratchet gettin' close?

"I have." Optimus nodded. "I'm not sure what to think. Ratchet's an old and dear friend. I know he won't hurt Cas."

"Think they'll stop dancing around each other?" "I'm not sure."

"Heh. Maybe they need a push."

Optimus chuckled. "Maybe they do."

Meanwhile, Megatron growled when he saw the scene unfolding on the main screen. "...So, the Prime has finished grieving at last."

This would not do. He needed Optimus off-balance. Grief was the best way to do so.

"Soundwave, target the sparkling, Cas, and arrange a lure for my errant Consort. I think it's time I reclaim my puppet."

"Yes, Lord Megatron." He disappeared to obey. Cas and Ratchet, meanwhile, were racing. He had caught the medic during some free time and had started a race.

"You'd better catch up, old mech!" Cas taunted.

"I'll teach you a think about speed, young 'un!" Ratchet poured on more speed, and Cas laughed.

The ambulance flipped around a corner and gained some distance on the speedy little triple changer.

He spotted something up ahead, coming towards them. "Cas, hold up!" "Nice try, Ratchet!"

"No, Cas! Hold!" The medic flipped through his transformation sequence.

 

Cas braked as Soundwave transformed and lunged for him.

Ravage, Frenzy, and Rumble ejected and transformed to deal with Ratchet while the communications officer himself took on Cas.

The young Triple was inexperienced and worse, unarmed. Still he fought back with his claws and kicked with his pedes as Ratchet commed Optimus as he fought the trio. *Prime! We need help! Soundwave's attacked us, and he's after Cas!*

Optimus responded. "Send me your coordinates! We're on our way!"  
Soundwave ejected his dataplugs and sent a burst of energy through Cas's circuits, knocking him out. "Rumble, Frenzy, Ravage. Return." The Carrier waited for his children, then flew off with Cas.

Ratchet swore loudly. "Damn it!"

When Optimus, Starscream, and Ironhide arrived, the medic was making his way back. "That son of a glitch took Cas!"

"WHAT?!" Starscream screeched.

"You heard me!" Ratchet pointed. "He headed that way. Must be taking him back to the Nemesis."

 

The Seeker snarled and blasted after Soundwave.

Soundwave's stealth shielding was deactivated purposefully to allow the Seeker to track him. Starscream, meanwhile, was commanding one of his projects out of subspace and to prepare for activation. Project: Cydaea.

"Soundwave! Give me my son!"

"Request: Impossible. Suggestion: Catch if Starscream can!"

He snarled and increased his speed. "I'll kill you for attacking him!"

"Negative. Will instead be defeated." Soundwave dove for the Nemesis.

"No!" he screeched, pouring on every ounce of speed he possessed.

Soundwave barely escaped inside and the Seeker was forced to follow.

Cas was still struggling, but it was doing very little.

Megatron was waiting. Soundwave dropped Cas near his pedes and withdrew to a safe distance.

The small triple scuttled back, shaking.

Megatron reached down and gripped him by the scruff. "Stay still, wretched thing."

"Put down my child!"

"Carrier!" Cas squealed.

Starscream hissed, unsheathing two daggers that had been hidden in compartments in his thighs. His other weapons charged in threat. "Put him down, Megatron."

"Fine." Megatron tossed Cas into the control panel that triggered the bay doors to shut. "Your whelp is nothing more than bait in any case."

"Why through so much trouble to get me back here?"

"Because you are mine, my creation and my concubine, and I will have you back."

 

"Your creation? What are you talking about?"

"It was I who named you: Starscream. I who decided you should be tricolor."

"What?" "Before you were pathetic, useless, weak. Too weak to even be bitter towards the mate who had abandoned you, so I made you hate him." "You... you tampered with my processor."

"More than that. I created you." Megatron took his chin in his servo. "You would still be nothing if it weren't for me.”

 

"Then... everything I've heard about my past, about Orion,... is true." "I raised you above it all."

"You son of a glitch..." Starscream breathed.

"And even now, Prime has moved on. Nightwish is truly dead at last." Megatron smirked. "I am all you have left."

Cas began laughing, causing them to look at him like he was crazy. "Megatron, you just made a huge mistake by telling Carrier all that. See, Creator and Ironhide were just acting to get you to reveal the truth to Carrier."

Megatron's lipplates dropped open. "No!"

Starscream's mouth twisted bitterly. "...Even knowing this... I still hate him. What did you do to me, Megatron?" He hissed, calling to his project.

"Shadowplay, to you and your traitor cousin, Pharma."

"And Sky and TC?"

"They were never even your brothers!"

Starscream was quiet for a long moment. "... I'm going to kill you."

"You've tried in the past." Megatron mocked.

Starscream activated the tiny droids and razor-sharp, hair-thin wires shot out all around Megatron. "This is something I was saving for Prime and the Ark, but I suppose you'll do."

"What?! What have you done?!"

"Make your peace with Primus, Megatron... I've been waiting for this." Starscream instructed his drones adn the wires pulled taut and then tighter around Megatron.

Cas looked away as the warlord was sliced into pieces.

Starscream stared down at him and then put a servo to his face, hiding the coolant in his optics.

He lowered it when his sparkling came nuzzling into his arms, peeping softly.

"I love you too." He murmured to Cas, pulling him close.

I"I'm sure we can fix what he did, Carrier. There has to be a way."

"I hope so... But I'm afraid the person I used to be will be gone forever."

"I don't think you can be Nightwish, but maybe you can be a mix of Nightwish and Starscream."

"Maybe. I hope so." Starscream tightened his hold on Cas. "Come. Let's go back."

He nodded and followed his Carrier out.

Starscream picked up Megatron's helm on the way and they transformed, rendezvousing with the other autobots.

"Carrier, that's disgusting," Cas said.

"It's proof." Starscream replied, throwing the severed head at Prime's feet.

Optimus stepped back in disgust.

Starscream lifted his chin and gave him a fierce look. "Soundwave won't continue the war without him."

"What about Shockwave?" Prowl asked. Ratchet was checking Cas over and fussing in the background.

"Shockwave will see reason. If not, I'll kill him too."

Optimus sighed. "Then lets hope we can end this without more bloodshed."

"Agreed." Starscream nodded. "...Let's go back to the Ark. Cas needs attention."

"He looks like he's already getting it," Optimus smirked.

Starscream rolled his optics over to where Ratchet was examining Cas. "It does seem like it." The Seeker took to the air. "I'll be waiting."

"Ratchet, I'm-" "You're not okay. You shouldn't even be walking with the shape your back is in."

Cas sighed and climbed into Ratchet's alt-mode. "At least I have you to fuss over me."

Ratchet started off for the base. "Cas, would you... consider becoming... my "Conjux Amica?

"...I would, Ratchet. Of course, I would."

 

"Good. I'm glad. Now just rest up, okay?" Cas smiled. "Okay."

Starscream was waiting beside the Ark when the others arrived and he followed Ratchet and Cas in.

Ratchet brought Cas to the infirmary and began properly checking his back to get the extent of the damage Megatron's throw had done.

"You have some major denting, but nothing I can't fix."

Cas smiled at him. "Is there anything you can't fix?"

"Plenty, but this I can do."

The triple reached out a servo for a moment.

Ratchet squeezed it. "Rest now.'

He slipped into a peaceful recharge, and the medic turned to the hovering Carrier in the doorway.

"He'll be fine." He told the Seeker. "What about you? Must have been a hell of a fight to take out Megs."

"Actually he was... tied up, so it was easy."

Ratchet raised his optical ridges. "And you? Had any... epiphanies?"

"Megatron used shadowplay on me as well as Pharma."

"I'm not surprised."

"So regardless of his confession... I feel the same."

"...There are ways to underwrite Shadowplay." Ratchet told Starscream. "And it can be defeated within your own processor."

"How?"

"Force of will, breaking the habit, and reminding yourself that what you feel is ingrained. You can push this emotion aside, Starscream: It was never yours."

"I... will try. As for you." "What about me?"

Starscream leaned in and hissed. "Hurt Cas and I will make you wish you had never been born."

"I'd never hurt him. I'll protect him, I swear."

Starscream nodded. "...I... Believe you."

He kissed his son's helm and left the infirmary.

As he went to Optimus's office, his processor was at war with itself.

He knew the truth now, but his altered memories still remained. They warred against each other.

Leaning on the doorpost, he broke out into a coolant sweat as he raised his fist to knock. It was more like punching the door, but it worked.

"Are you all right? What's wrong?"

"I'm- Megatron-" Starscream bared his teeth in a grimace and pulled himself up to the Prime's level, pressing his lipplates to the exposed mouth. "I'm trying-"

 

"Trying to what? Here, come sit down."

"...Megatron lied to me." The Seeker gritted out, keeping hold of the Prime. "I don't want to hate you."

"Ah, I see. Don't try go force it all at once, you'll just hurt yourself."

But Starscream had always been a great supporter of the "deep end of the pool" theory. He hung on, laying his helm at the Prime's neck. The result was some of the most aggressive snuggling the Prime had ever had. It was comparable to hugging a Tiger Shark. And he was shocked to find he liked it.

Well until he had to go back to his work. The Seeker in his face made it rather difficult.

"Starscream, I need to be able to fill in papers." The Prime cajoled his hanger-on."  
In response, the Seeker grumbled. "Make Prowl do it. I'm trying to be cozy."

"Prowl has his own work to do, this is mine. We can be cozy later."

Starscream made a sound that was somewhere between a hiss and a purr and straightened. "I think I've had all I can take right now anyway."

Optimus nodded. "That's fine. Go snuggle Cas if he's up for it. That should make you feel better."

"All right." Starscream forced back the instinct to sink his claws into the Prime as he wriggled off of him and away.

Cas was sitting up and chirped when he saw his Carrier.

"Hello, little one." Starscream nuzzled his child, enjoying the release of pent-up tension in his frame.

He purred and batted at the Seeker playfully.

Starscream hurred back and swatted his son's shoulder as they cuddled together.

He giggled and kissed the Seeker's cheek. "I love you, Carrier."

"I love you, Cas." Starscream nuzzled him. "How are you holding up?"

"Still a little sore but much better."

"Good." Starscream rested against his child, watching Ratchet. "You have a good caretaker."

His son purred. "I do, and I have you and Creator too."

Starscream nodded slowly. "Yes... yes, you do."


End file.
